


Our Happy Place

by hisdarlingg



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Death, Fanfic, Haikyuu - Freeform, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Sad, althought i am just emotional, sensitive topics, tendouxushijima
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28039440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hisdarlingg/pseuds/hisdarlingg
Summary: "Pretty right?" Tendou asked as the wind blew against his pale skin.Ushijima laid his large hands on top of Tendou's red hair and laughed a bit, "it's beautiful."The two boys ran towards the field of flowers and watched the sunset. Tendou felt at peace when he was with Ushijima, everything was just better with him."Wakatoshi, let's make this our place. Okay?" "Our place?" "Yeah, a place where we come together whenever we need to escape reality" "Okay. This is our happy place Satori."
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Kudos: 7





	Our Happy Place

**Author's Note:**

> This contains mature subjects such as suicidal thoughts, self-harm, depression, abuse, suicide, and many others. If you choose to stop reading because of this warning or choose to keep going; it's all up to you.

High school isn't like how everyone planned it to be. No senior comes swooping you off your feet on freshman year to love you and wait for you until you both graduate and get married, have kids, and grow old together. That's how Tendou Satori planned it, that's how he wanted to be. In a place where there were so many students his age, he had to find at least a couple of friends. A place he finally wanted to get out of his comfort zone. And there he is. Sitting alone, just like his childhood all over again. In the hallway; the red hair boy sat alone, in silence, with his head on his knees as his legs pushed forward against his chest- hugging it tightly. Tendou hated being alone, he hated knowing that everyone was scared of him. Not because of how he acts but because of how he looked. 

"If no one likes how I look, then the only I can change is how I act. I know I look ugly but I can't change my physical appearance, I can only change my personality. The ugly ones are always the funny ones, right?"

Although Tendou didn't have friends, there was always someone who listened to him- someone who people found disturbing because of his appearance. Ushijima Wakatoshi, another third-year from his school. 

"You're not ugly to me" Ushijima said as he bit into his sandwich and glanced over at Tendou. 

Ushijima saw Tendou as someone he wishes he could be. Tendou was always joyful and happy, even if he really wasn't. Tendou always found the better in everything that people found bad, Tendou was Ushijima's yellow. 

"Besides you Ushijima. You're literally my friend, of course you won't find me ugly" Tendou sighed as he smiled at Ushijima and laid his head against his broad shoulders. The two men were quiet for a while before Ushijima looked down at Tendou to see him sleeping peacefully. The boy began to blush and shook the redhead aggressively. "Satori, wake up! Lunch will be ending soon." Ushijima mumbled and stood up, causing Tendou to fall onto the ground. 

"Rude, you could've waited for me to wake up fully!" Tendou laughed. 

His laugh was like a light to Wakatoshi, his eyes widen a bit to hear him laugh for the first time since he met him. "I like your laugh" Ushijima complimented Tendou before running off in embarrassment. As Tendou watched Ushijima run into his class, he smiled. "I like your smile Wakatoshi.." Tendou said softly to himself before following Ushijima into the classroom. 

* * *

After school- Tendou and Ushijima walked home together as always.

Tendou looked up at the blue sky. Empty. The sky was empty. No clouds, no birds, no airplanes insight. 

"Wakatoshi"

"Yes?"

"Would you like to escape reality with me?" Tendou turned to the tall olive-brown hair boy and give him a soft smile. His lips perk up at the side like he was smirking. 

"Sure Satori, anything for you" Ushijima took his large hands and pat Tendou's head smoothly before running his fingers through his red hair, feeling the strands of hair run around his fingers- he smiled. 

Tendou skipped around the area of houses as he held Ushijima's arm. He didn't find any romantic attraction to their arms holding, they were just friends. Ushijima was getting dragged around, turns and bumps. "Satori please, you're going to wrinkle our uniform" He frowned a bit, staring at how hard Tendou was gripping his sleeves. "Oh, sorry" Tendou laughed again and let go of his arm. "No wait, it's okay just don't ruin the uniform" Ushijima suddenly spoke immediately after Tendou let go of his arm and held his hands. 

Tendou was quite startled by Ushijima's actions, but nodded and continued to guide him through town. 

Minutes later Tendou stopped walking. They were standing on an empty road that looked like the countryside that had a beautiful view of a large meadow of green grass and colorful flowers- and along with the field, the road leads to a bridge. The bridge was black and it looked like it wasn't made for a vehicle like a car. The bars were very thin and the bridge has an upside U-shape arch to it. The boys looked across the field on the bridge with a smile across their faces. 

"Pretty right?" Tendou asked as the wind blew against his pale skin. 

Ushijima laid his large hands on top of Tendou's red hair and laughed a bit, "it's beautiful."

The two boys ran towards the field of flowers and watched the sunset. Tendou felt at peace when he was with Ushijima, everything was just better with him. 

"Wakatoshi, let's make this our place. Okay?" "Our place?" "Yeah, a place where we come together whenever we need to escape reality" "Okay. This is our happy place Satori."

And with those words, Ushijima took out his purple sharpie and wrote their initials on the bridge before they went home.

* * *

Home. 

Tendou never liked his household, his mother was never home and his father was different than most fathers he knew. 

"You're finally home love" His mother greeted him at the door. "Oh, mother. Hey." Tendou held his mom close. Her body was thinner than it was the last time he saw her- her makeup was smudged all over her eyes like she just finished crying and her hair was in knots. She still wore the same clothes she wore last time before she left Tendou and his dad alone, except this time her clothes were all dirty and stained. 

"Fucking whore, don't fucking touch him. You cheating crackhead slut." Tendou's father pulled her by her arm away from Tendou and pushed her against the wall. His dad grabbed Tendou by his shoulder tightly and stared straight into the boy's eyes. "Don't talk to her. She failed as your mother. She left us to become a slut prostitute, she got fired from her job at the office and became a drug addict with the leftover money she had. She's not your mom. She's a fucking whore-" His dad was cut off by his mom's painful screams. 

"You lying piece of shit! You kicked me out of the house, drugs were the only thing that kept me going! Tendou, sweetheart, take this. Take it. Whenever you're sad, take it!" Tendou's mom shoved a small plastic bag into his palms and closed his hands under hers tightly with a crazy look in her eyes.

Tendou has completely lost his mom. 

"I kicked you out because you slept with Lee from the car repair!"

"I only did that so you could fix your stupid car for free!"

"We had money! And don't fucking give my son drugs you crazy shit!" His father yanked her by her shoulders into the living room.

Tendou's head began to spin. The air became thin and his breathing was heavy. All the boy could do was run. He slammed open the front door and run out of the house; he ran away as far as he could and as fast as he can. The cold air impacted his bare face as he speeds through the neighborhood, around the corners and alleyways- he found himself back at his happy place; just to see Ushijima leaning against the bridge bars, looking down at the water underneath it.

* * *

When Ushijima entered his warm house, he saw the person he disliked the most- his father. 

"You untalented brat. I told you to become a musician, something useful. What the fuck does Volleyball do to you? You didn't even make it to Nationals!" 

His voice always makes Ushijima flich. Ushijima hated having voices raised at him, especially when it's from family. 

"My son, go easy on Wakatoshi, he's a child." His hero, his one and only grandma. Someone who he knew loved him as much as he loved her. "Hello my grandson, are you hungry?" Her smile was bright as she hugged him. Her hug warmed him up from the cold weather outside. Ushijima nodded and smiled back at his grandma as he followed her into the kitchen; where we saw his stepmom. 

"Ushijima, did you take my lipstick?" She asked him before going on her phone, fastly typing. "No, I didn't rose."

Rose was a 5 foot 6 white tourist; blonde hair up to her shoulders, beautiful brown hazel eyes, young- possibly in her mid-20s maybe early 20s to be exact. Just his dad's type. Ushijima's father and Rose got married after 3 weeks of dating; she wanted to stay in Japan and my dad wanted a white-yellowwannabe chick. 

"Well, I figured you'd be the one who'd take them. You play volleyball, don't you? That's a girl sport" Rose snickered before she got off the kitchen stools and patted Ushijima's chest lightly. Before she could leave the room Ushijima turned around and spoke, "Volleyball goes both ways, Rose."

Ushijima's grandma patted him and handed him a small bowl of rice with some spicey chicken and chopsticks. "Eat a lot so you can grow big, and then you'll be able to carry me to the elderly house" She laughed. Ushijima's heart began to ache, he didn't want to lose the only person who cared about him. 

He grabbed her old shaking cold hands and smiled, "Grandma, I love you. I'll get strong, just for you." His grandma smiled sweetly and brushed her hand against his face as she gripped his face, just like she used to when he was little, and said; "I know my little boy. I know. Don't hate your father okay? He's just confused right now." Her voice was soft as tears began to run down her face. Ushijima nodded and held her hand still as he closed his eyes and began to cry, he really loved his grandma. 

After dinner, he couldn't sleep. 

"She's so old, just take her to the elderly already. Isn't she like... 90?"

"She's 73, and I will. Maybe next week or so."

"And that son of yours, Ushijima. Can we kick him out too? I want to have children of my own."

"That's still my son, Hunny."

"I know but, he doesn't like me, hun. Get rid of him."

"I'll see what I can do. Anything for you my rosy."

Ushijima's father and rose's voices spoke to him through the thin walls. He knew grandma could hear, which broke him. He didn't care about what they said about him, all he wants to do is protect his grandma as much as she protected him.

The olive green hair boy made his way into his grandma's room to see she was sound asleep and closed the door again before leaving the house.

Not knowing she was crying as she was faced away from his vision. 

Ushijima walked around the park as he saw two couples swinging on the swing. "I love you" "I love you too"

Would Ushijima ever find love? He always wondered that. He walked to his and Tendou's happy place and looked down at the water over the bridge. Tears began to run down his face again, but they quickly disappeared when he raised his head and saw a beautiful redhead boy standing from afar, looking his way with tears running down his face too. Ushijima opened his arms wide as Tendou ran into his chest and wrapped his arms around Ushijima's body tightly and cried into his chest. "I'm so tired Wakatoshi.. So tired" Tendou sobbed. Ushijima wrapped his arms around the sad boy and smiled lightly when his red hair flew at his face, "I know Satori, I know. But hey, I'm here for you." "I know."

* * *

Months later it was graduation day. 

"Is this goodbye?" Tendou asked Ushijima as he brought his knees up to his chest and hugged it tightly. "Hell no" Ushijima responded as he looked over to Tendou.

There they were, sitting in the empty hallway against the lockers. "Good. Good." Tendou whispered quietly and stood up. "I have to go home and change out of this gown. Meet me tomorrow at our happy place, okay?" He smiled at the olive hair boy. Ushijima nodded and watched the skinny redhead leave the building, seeing him all grown. 

Tendou walked home and took off his gown and cap, placing it on his bed. 

"You bitch, I told you to not come back!" 

"Please! I just need a place to stay!"

His mother screamed down downstairs in pain. He knew his father was hitting her again, and he couldn't do anything about it because..

Tendou looked at himself in the mirror. Scars covered his body like tattoos. His arm was scarred, his chest was scarred, his legs were scarred, his stomach was scarred. His father would beat him when he came home and found Tendou alone in his room. The only time his father didn't beat him was when his father was out drinking or when his mom came running back. Tendou also cut his arm, he's been clean for two months now, only because he wanted to make it to graduation day to watch his best friend graduate. 

Tendou climbed down from his window and went to their happy place. The boy looked over the bridge and smiled. The grass softly danced, the clouds looked like cotton in the beautiful blue sky. It was like nature was telling him to stop. But before he knew it, blood began to run down his arms. His eyes widen to look down and see his left hand holding a large piece of glass from his bedroom window that he broke. "no" He whispered and dropped the piece of glass onto the ground. "No," He said louder and watched his arm suddenly get more cuts, seeing the piece of glass back in his left hand. "Make it stop! Please make it stop!" He yelled as he dropped down at the ground in the pile of red liquid. 

His vision became blurry, his breathing was slowly stopping. He tried to crawl away from the piece of glass, but it always found itself back in his hands. 

Tendou's pain was finally ending. His regrets, his emptiness, it was finally gone. His face pulled a small smile, he knew he didn't want to die yet, he wanted to grow old-find his lover. But he found his lover already; Ushijima Wakatoshi. "Thank you, Wakatoshi" Tendou whispered as he took his breaths in. He gave up. He didn't fight back. Tendou just wanted the neverending pain to stop. "Wakatoshi, I found my happy place" He whispered again.

"Tendou!" 

That voice woke Tendou from his long blinks, seeing Ushijima running towards his lifeless body. "Tendou stay with me, please! Please stay with me!" The boy called out to him and grabbed his cold body, running away from their happy place. 

* * *

"Goodmorning Tendou, I had chocolate ice cream for breakfast, your favorite. Are you watching over me?"

Tendou Satori, 18 years old, has passed away on March 16th- suicide. 

Ushijima looked across the bridge with a smile on his face, trying to not cry. "I miss you" He laughs slightly. He brought his hands over his mouth to stop the noises that were about to escape from his mouth. "I miss you a lot. Your father packed up all your stuff already, fucking ass right?" Ushijima laughed a bit and looked down at the bars. 

Their initials. 'T + U/ happy place. Our Happy Place >:( - Tendou S.'

He wrapped his hand around the bar and cried, "Our happy place Satori. Our happy place."

* * *

_Dear Wakatoshi,_

_Hey, it's me, Tendou Satori. I know I told you to meet me at our happy place tomorrow and I'm sorry. I promised you to be strong, but I was just holding it to see you graduate. My father hates me, my mother hates me. I have no family. I have no purpose anymore. After highschool what will I do? You still have volleyball, what do I have? Ushijima Wakatoshi, the day we found our happy place, I fell in love with you. I don't know if you like men, or if only you like women. Or even if you like women at all. But I was afraid to tell you, it's not easy to come out to a friend who's always been there for me, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. So bare with me. By the time you're reading this, it's probably because I'm gone already aren't I? I know, I know. Don't cry Wakatoshi, you have a big future ahead of you- just not with me in it. But's its okay, because look! I'm not in pain anymore Wakatoshi :) I found my happy place. And I hope you find yours. Your happy place can't be my happy place, it doesn't work like that >:( so don't try anything funny... Smile for me Wakatoshi, be strong, and have a family. Grow old and tell them their Uncle Tendou was a brave hero, he faced his fears. I love you. It doesn't hurt anymore, I'm not tired anymore. _

_From, Tendou Satori._

Ushijima's hand began to shake as his salty tears fell down, sinking into Tendou's letter. He picked up Tendou's boxes from his father and sat on the bridge with the letter; rereading those words. "I love you". 

Right then his question has been answered- he found his love. "I love you too Satori, you're finally happy" He sniffed his nose as his tears ran down his cheek. Ushijima tried to stop crying but they couldn't stop, all he felt was a pain in his heart. He never got to tell Tendou he fell In love with him too. He never got to tell Tendou how much he cared about him, maybe he could've saved Tendou if he didn't let tendou walk out of that school building alone. 

"I love you Satori" He sobbed into his palm as he gripped onto the letter tightly, crumbling it a bit.

"I know Wakatoshi, I love you too" Tendou smiled and looked down at the boy he loved. 

Our Happy Place.

**Author's Note:**

> have you found your love yet?  
> and are you okay?


End file.
